Writing

Chapter 1

She was sitting by herself in the middle of the large field that was surrounded by the runways built for the planes to land. She sat there by herself every day come rain or come sun. She sat there staring out in the nothingness and the everythingness, not really moving, not even blinking if you looked closely enough; and people were watching. They were watching from different windows, different locations and they were all wondering who she really was and what had happened to make her the silent withdrawn being sitting on the grass not moving, not seeing, not living, soulless.

She was born in a very large house; there were servants there to obey every word from her mother, father and half-brother. There were more clothes than a small child can ever need toys for a whole army and food in abundance.

A little princess!

She was born in a very large house where the servants were the only people that saw her, looked after her and made sure that she got a human touch. She had a mother and father that didn’t speak to each other and a half brother and mother that were too friendly towards each other thinking no one noticed – everyone noticed.

There were discussions going on behind her back, there had to be a change, what could be done? How would they be able to bring her out of her silence? How would they be able to bring her back to the world they were all living in? Something had to be done, and no one knew what, she had been gone for so long, too long. All the years, so many years from when she went missing from home until she appeared again, all the years since she came back where she hadn’t said a word to anyone, not spoken about where she had been or what had happened, silence, such long silence – except for the nights, in the dark nights there were screaming, tears and pain, so much pain, they could all hear it, the pain of it. Her husband gave up after only a week; he moved out of the bedroom and left her to her devises for most of the times. Sometimes there would be quite nights and then he would try, only to hear the screams again.

Someone gave her a puppy when she was small, an adorable little puppy that followed her wherever she went. She couldn’t remember what kind it was and she wasn’t sure that she ever even gave it a name, it was just puppy, not like Belle, Belle had a name her Golden Retriever that she had dared to love, dared to think that she would not be taken away, she had been wrong; Belle was gone too now, never again a puppy. The first one died by her father’s hand, he had gotten angry at her for something and broken the puppy’s neck, just a small little snap and Puppy was gone, she had cried then, it was before she ran out of tears before they dried out.

Things did change, one day in the rain, she was sitting on her field waiting for something that never came while two men in uniforms were out walking a dog, a beautiful golden retriever whose name was Belle. They didn’t have a leash on the dog, it was always so well behaved that they were sure that they could handle her. It wasn’t their dog they were just watching it for its owner while he was away, due to return on the day, the very day when she was sitting on her field waiting for something that never came, that day it came.

-1-

Belle, it had been a while since she thought of her, she was no longer surprised about the randomness of her thoughts, she had no control over them they came and left as they wished. Mentally closing her eyes she could see Belle in front of her, smell her fur as they cuddled after a long walk in the woods, having her lying next to her at night when have wasn’t there next to her. And then there was the barking, Belle very rarely barked, she could hear it now it sounded so real, so close, strange.

– Stop your stupid dog! Get back here! There was panic in the voice calling the dog, knowing that the girl on the field should not be disturbed, also the man standing guard behind her did not look happy at all. They were not in the mood to get into trouble over a stupid dog that they did not want anything to do with anyhow.

The same dog was now at the girl, barking at her, jumping up and down doing a little dance around her, trying to get a reaction. Realizing after a while that no reaction was forthcoming the dog started whining instead putting its head in the girls lap.

It was weird the two men said later, we came up to her and she was empty, there was nothing in her eyes it completely freaked us out, she was like a living dead. The dog didn’t give up, it just whined and buffed her with its nose, still no reaction, it wouldn’t let us move it, when we reached over to put its leash on it attacked, attempting to bite. We got lucky that the chopper came when it did; don’t know how we would have managed the situation.

Whining, Belle never whined, strange how the mind works, making things up, she was trying to remember when the memory could have been from, then she heard the sound of a helicopter, it’s blades chopping through the air and she realized it must be the day of the attack. That last day of Belle and him, the end of her almost normal life. He left her with the comment to be quiet and not say a word, or make a peep because that always got her into trouble and he needed her to stay out of trouble, for once she needed to stay out of trouble. And she had promised, not a peep and she had stuck with that promise even after he was long gone, she hadn’t made a peep.

She heard him now, calling out for Belle, ordering her to come to him. No! She wants to scream don’t take her with you, don’t leave me her alone, it will make me alone forever, let her stay. She can’t scream though all she can be is quiet and it’s too late anyhow because it already happened, a long time ago it happened and he had left and he had taken Belle with him and then they both were gone forever and she was alone, alone and quiet.

Belle isn’t moving though, she can feel her there, and she can feel Belle, strange, the memory was wrong. The helicopter went silent, Belle was still there, she could still hear him calling her and there are no gunshots, there are no bombs, there are no people screaming. It’s quiet except for Belle’s whining and his voice calling for her. Wait, it’s not calling Belle anymore, it’s calling her, its calling for her, its calling her name, and it’s calling Alex.

He got of the helicopter, muddy, sweaty, bloody and tired, all he wanted to do was go and rip his clothes of, get into the shower and try and wash away the last few days, all of it. He needed to remove the days from him and then remove the memories after that, the memories have to go otherwise he could not move on, keep walking, go back out there where the water from the mountain springs are no longer clear and amazingly clean, it’s red, blood red, he didn’t want to go back out. He was so tired of it all, so tired and still he had no choice. He got of the helicopter and saw his dog, the one that he had managed to convince everyone to let him keep with him, he saw that dog and that it was in trouble. He realized then he wouldn’t see that shower anytime soon, he started walking towards his dog acting very strangely, towards two grown men not allowed to go close to it, and a girl sitting very still, not moving not reacting to the dog with its head in her lap.

He called out for the damn dog, and she wasn’t listening at all, strange, she always reacted immediately to his every command, something must be really wrong when she didn’t come. Was she hurt? He was getting worried as he sped up his step walking over to the small group of people, he kept calling for her. Then he saw it, then he saw why the dog didn’t move, he saw his ghost from years past, the one person that every day he wished he could see again, the person that his last memory of was sadness and loneliness, he had never regretted anything more than leaving her only to come back finding that she was gone, later told that she was gone for good.

She wasn’t gone for good though, was she? She was sitting there and he started calling out her name, running now even he was too tired to run, he was running towards her feeling like he never reached her, like she moved further away for every step that he took towards her. Was he just seeing things? Was he losing his mind? No she was there, Belle knew it to, and why didn’t she answer him? Why didn’t she move?

She wanted to get out, she didn’t want to be in the silence anymore, she wanted to get out and go to him. He was really there, he was back! Back from where? He was dead; she had been told that with no uncertainty that he was dead and she had to leave him in the past and move forward, keep living, he was dead! So how could he be here? Was her mind playing tricks on her? Was her mind playing games with her? She was fighting, she wasn’t strong enough, she couldn’t break out of the silence, and she had been there too long.

She felt his arm around her, he lifted her up, she was floating, she saw him, she saw his eyes, those eyes that given her so much comfort in the past, he was there. She lifted her hand and put it on his cheek, she felt him, and he was carrying her. There were voices, there were loud voices, he hugged her tighter, he wasn’t letting go. She was safe! She closed her eyes for real; she closed them and put her head on his shoulder. She was safe!

-2-

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