When life sucks

Happy fathers day?

This Sunday past was fathers day in Sweden, and they used to be different. It’s kind of strange to all of a sudden stand outside of something that you used to be a part of. There is no father in my life anymore so the day is a non-day really. I have a feeling it might be different for my sister, she’s married to a father so she need to celebrate the thing, every year for a long, long time.

The actual day in itself wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be, maybe because it was just such a normal Sunday. I think that if I would’ve been home in Gotham with my family it probably would have been more depressing because someone would have been missing, as it was, I was home alone like I usually am on Sundays.

It was the weeks leading up to the day that sucked, everywhere, everyday there have been reminders about the day to come. What will you buy your father for father’s day? Give you dad something special on father’s day! Do something special for your father on father’s day! And all you want to do is to tell them to shut up, keep quiet, remember all the ones that doesn’t have a father to celebrate anymore. So for the past couple of weeks or so, he has been missed, a lot! This past Sunday it was just like normal though, and I survived yet another first.

Is not that long now, before the firsts have all passed. Two months and three days to go, and then the firsts have passed, all those special days that we have had to live through without him there for the first time. I’m looking forward to that, I have heard that it will be easier then.

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