I really want to post at least one post a day this year…I really do. I’m pretty sure it wont happen because when ever I feel down I don’t.
Right now I’m crying a lot, not because I’m sad, it’s because I’m depressed. It’s hard for me to accept that I don’t have control of me.
I miss the person I used to be, the Pit Bull, the Duracell Bunny, the one that never stopped. I’m not that person anymore and I think if there’s even close to a New Years promise that I need to make, it is to accept that she isn’t here anymore.
It’s not easy, to realise that you changed so much that the one thing you loved about yourself is gone.
I had a pretty fab Christmas, because I have people around me that give a shit. I had a good New Years because I have people around me that think I walk on water. I still cried myself through it.
I aimed for 2018 being where I got my shit together, my shrink told me I should allow myself December at 80% and then I go for it. Not sure I have it in me, all I want to do is go to bed and stay there. Still, my alarm will go off tomorrow and I will go to work and pretend I like it.
I think I’ve reached the point where I’m not sure how to fix it. I spent my fall seeing a shrink and he told me I’m good. I’m feeling that he didn’t have the capability to make me talk.
I need to fix this though, any ideas?
Yesterday morning started with the intention of morning yoga, it was too nice to turn of the alarm and go back to sleep so instead it started with a hotel brekkie in a nice setting.
Then we hit the saunas and pools before I had my hot stone massage, a fantastic invention (as long as it’s not done in Thailand that is, a painful experience I tell you).
After the massage I walked around a bit and took some pictures for you guys…
Before leaving the Spa we enjoyed a salad (felt like the healthy option after all the saunas).
Then of course we were early to the train station, it’s either that or last-minute, so mother dearest was kind enough to have a cup of coffee with me while waiting.
For someone who spend so much time on trains as I do, it’s easy to sit down, put the music on and get your head into a book or computer. Sometimes it’s good to look up and out to be reminded of what a beautiful country I live in (the window of the train was kind of dirty though).
I had ideas about what to do when I got home, instead I hit the couch and pretty much stayed there all afternoon and evening…thus this post is written today rather than yesterday.
This trip to Rome have been planned for some time, finally it was take off day…and what a day.
There’s quite some difference between travelling by yourself and with a sister and two little people. By the time we taken the train to the airport, gone through security and bought candy for the little people I needed this more than anything.
The flight over was bumpy on the way up and down, in-between it wasn’t as bumpy as the last flights I’ve had over the past few weeks. The sunset we had was to die for, not that easy to capture in a picture though.
After a little muddle with the hotel pick-up we finally arrived at the hotel around eightish. Do you know how tired little people are at that time after such a day? Luckily the receptionist recommended a restaurant about 3 minutes walk from the hotel.
Italian food taste soooo much better in Italy than it do at home…
To die for!!!! If you ever are in Rome I can recommend this place. It’s called Campana, located on a street with the same name.
Now it’s ten pm and the little people are heading to bed wich mean that we so called grownups are doing the same…
Peace out ma peeps.
Pretty much the first sentence I wrote last week was for me to remember it’s not a sprint but more like a marathon.
I didn’t manage to eat the frog yesterday, or post something on the blog. Since 2010 and what went down then, a story I should probably share at some point, a small thing like yesterday and not reaching my goal for the day will pull me down completely.
To add to that I’m also on the last week of the magical chart of pills and that totally affect my mood. Still, I posted my positive thought of the day;
And even if I didn’t eat the frog I still brought my coffee as well as I did my job. I tried to be social in the evening, it just didn’t work and my couch once again became my best friend.
Today was a lovely morning, still sticking to the bring along coffee.
Had my positive thought.
And obviously updating the blog. And by the way, I also ate that damn frog today!!
In a couple of hours I’ll be at my mum’s, having the day off work tomorrow to accompany my grandmother to her little brothers funeral. I see it as quality time with grandma and mother dearest, what else can I do?
For the second year we are away on the yearly family ski trip. Two aunties, two uncles, three cousins, a sister, a brother-in-law, two nieces and a mother.
We just finished brekkie and now the chaos of when all of the above need to get ready for the slopes, has begun.
It started like a crazy idea back in 2012 that I somehow managed to get my mother and aunty to join in on.
In 2013 me and my sister used it to collect money for research into the weird disease my dad managed to get, my mother, aunty and her friend also joined.
When 2014 arrived, me and my mother decided to bike once again, however we also decided it was to be the last time. Problem was that we crossed the finish line and saw a special five-year medal. We also realized that we where more than half way there.
Thus we went again in 2015. None of us wanted to do it, none of us were in the mood which might explain our best time to date.
Then 2016 arrived and my body hated me, still there was no doubt that I was gonna finish the damn thing, it was the fifth year and that five-year medal loomed ahead. It was horrible, very part of my body ached in a way it never had before. Still, I made it and my sister with family was at the finish line to cheer us on.
We went for dinner, where I had myself a yum beer. And trust me, that hamburger tasted much better than it looked.
Then we went back to the summer-house, and as we arrived I received a second medal from my nieces;
This bike is now on the key for my bike and I really hope I can manage to not lose it as it is a fantastic memory of the fifth and hopefully final race. I now my mother wants to do it again next year, and it’s only five more times to that ten-year medal. And to be honest, the body doesn’t hurt that bad anymore…we’ll see…
Yesterday I was wishing every day was hotel brekkie day…I then arrived to the airport to find out that my flight was almost two hours late departing. This meant that I missed my connection in Stockholm and got stuck there. What do you do when stuck in an airport?
As my mother was supposed to meet me on the other side we where texting back and forth as I was totally down about realizing that I would be stuck I. Stockholm for the night and wake up to, yup that’s right, another hotel brekkie until she reminded me that crazy aunty godmother lives in the capital.
Can’t say it was easy to get hold of the capital family, as I sat down on the plane they finally got back to me and offered to pick me up at the airport, awesome!!
Arriving in Stockholm wasn’t as efficient as I hoped for though, we where all sent to a servicedesk with one person working, very slowly that is, to be re-booked for the morning flight, so I thought. After waiting in line for over 30 minutes I was informed that the lady couldn’t check me in as my next flight was with another company. Turned out we had all been re-booked already and the que was for check-in, hotel and money vouchers…information guys???
Poor uncle was sitting in his car outside waiting during this debacle. Trust me SAS will hear about it, I’m in a complaining kind of mood.
Felt so much better when I got to the family though, bunny cuddle and good beer and family time is sooooo much better than hotel brekkie!
After keeping my poor cousin up until twoish (I kidnapped her phone) I didn’t get much sleep before the taxi came picked me up this morning. Way to early it appears as the taxi app expected an hours drive that only took 25 minutes. Well it gave me time to spend my fantabolus vouchers…
Let’s just hope that my flight departs as it should so I can enjoy this Friday off properly.